As someone born at the dawn of the new millennium, I am often overwhelmed with the abundance of options and pathways I have available to me. Of course, being born into a middle-class family that has always offered their support has only cemented, if not increased these options. And I am, of course, eternally grateful for that privilege.

From a young age, I, as well as many other children like me, was often told that I could be anything or anyone that I wanted to be (although my parents always made a point to frequently mention dentistry). And whilst at the time, we would nod our heads, murmur “yes mum”, and hastily get back to finishing our Shitzu’s agility trial on Nintendogs in peace, for those of us who are driven, self-motivated, and have the necessary tools required to accomplish our goal of choice, they’re right. We can, in the most literal sense of the phrase, do and be whatever we want. The sky is the limit, the world is our oyster, and whatever other proverbial phrase you can think of. They’re all true. 

Now, don't let my tone later fool you; I love having all of these options available to me. In fact, it’s what I love most about life. These options are what took me from being balls-deep in a serious depression in 2018 to standing on a boat in a big, plastic raincoat in the middle of Niagara Falls crying tears of gratitude exactly 12 months later. It’s these options, and the subsequent decisions we make from them, that have the power to get us to exactly where we want to be. However, for the chronically indecisive Pisces-Gemini like myself, this abundance of options can also be the catalyst of many meltdowns and existential crises. 

In my final year of high school, I was overwhelmed with the number of potential career paths, and as I was standing in a sea of soon-to-be nurses, teachers, and lawyers, I quickly realised that I was one of the few students in my cohort with absolutely no clear career direction. My final course preference list looked more like a randomised selection of jobs someone picked out from a hat than anything else. Due to my self-proclaimed slightly above-average gift in creative writing, I hesitantly chose a journalism degree, only to realise a month later, “Why the fuck would I want a journalism degree?” and eventually deferred. And truthfully, it took me until only recently to realise that the course that I eventually chose is what I actually want to do (clinical psychologist, if you're wondering). Hell, even now I sometimes wonder if maybe I’d prefer teaching, marketing, public relations, or being a contestant on a reality TV show.

Despite all of this confusion, I have, in my wise age of 20 years and 8 months, appeared to have stumbled upon the solution. And that is to keep moving. Keep working on being the best version of yourself. Jump around from idea to idea if you must, but whatever you do, keep moving. It doesn’t matter if your life isn’t perfectly curated by the age of 23 (a lesson I need to remind myself of from time to time), and it doesn't matter if you feel unsure about what direction you're going in. So long as you’re moving, you will always be one step ahead of where you were, and one step closer to whatever option or goal you will eventually choose to chase. And then when you’re on a break from grinding, you can blame your star sign, your upbringing, or Mercury being in retrograde for your indecisive nature like I do.

            - Loz

No comments: