According
to the internet's most credible source, Urban Dictionary, Comparisonitis can be
described as the internal compulsion to constantly compare one's achievements
and accomplishments with others in the hope of building our own self-worth. It
feeds on the self-esteem of young millennials, instilling feelings of inadequacy in
our own achievements. Those we compare ourselves to can vary from being our own
peers or siblings, to random celebrities and influencers, and with the rise of
social media use, Comparisonitis has only worsened and become more dangerous.
Sarcasm
aside, I am a victim of Comparisonitis, and although I can confidently say that it does drive me to push myself beyond my limits and keep me motivated, it can also be
incredibly exhausting because I never feel fulfilled with my current state. For
example, I have competed in two world championships, I've spent
multiple months travelling around overseas, I am currently completing a degree
in Psychology, and I don't do nangs. In other words, I have ticked off the four
common prerequisites when it comes to measuring humble success as a
twenty-something-year-old. But somehow, it's still not enough. Each time I
chase after a goal and reach it, instead of kicking my feet up and giving myself a good pat on the
back, I remember that somewhere out there is a six-year-old kid from China that already did it.
Social media allows millennials like myself to
take a peek inside the lives of others. The problem with this, however, is that people often project the best
version of themselves. The world champion medals, the celebratory drinks after
the promotion, the graduation gowns, the new family house - we are constantly
flooded with an abundance of images of people ticking off life goals and
achieving amazing things because that’s the part that they want us to see.
However, what we're looking at is the end product. We don't frequently scroll
past pictures and videos of people after a 9-hour shift or mid-emotional
breakdown because they're exhausted from training. All we see is the finish
line. So what do we do? We compare ourselves to these other millennials and wonder why
we're so far behind everyone else. And suddenly, all the cool stuff that we’re
doing doesn’t seem to matter much because someone else is doing more. And we
drive ourselves crazy.
And I often can't help but wonder,
what will I
need to achieve to feel fulfilled?
And the answer is simple: nothing.
Ultimately, no specific accomplishment will make me feel truly fulfilled, because life isn't a big bucket list. Fulfilment doesn’t come from ticking off achievements or beating everyone else along the way. Life, especially in your twenties, is about the moments in between. It’s about having new experiences, forging your own path, making a few mistakes, and growing into the person you’re meant to be. We can't do and be everything straight out of high school - not because we’re not capable, but because that’s just not how life works. And though I try my hardest to refrain from quoting The Hannah Montana Movie, Miley was right: it really is the climb. Without it, the good parts wouldn’t feel quite as good.
Ultimately, no specific accomplishment will make me feel truly fulfilled, because life isn't a big bucket list. Fulfilment doesn’t come from ticking off achievements or beating everyone else along the way. Life, especially in your twenties, is about the moments in between. It’s about having new experiences, forging your own path, making a few mistakes, and growing into the person you’re meant to be. We can't do and be everything straight out of high school - not because we’re not capable, but because that’s just not how life works. And though I try my hardest to refrain from quoting The Hannah Montana Movie, Miley was right: it really is the climb. Without it, the good parts wouldn’t feel quite as good.
So when you're chasing a goal, let yourself get your hands dirty. Sweat, cry, grind, and hustle. And when you finally get there, take a moment to acknowledge the achievement. Then take a photo, post it, and let some other insecure twenty-something compare themselves to your seemingly instant success.
So next time you’re feeling overwhelmed with feelings
of inadequacy compared to the rest of the world, take a break from social media and remind yourself that everyone is following their own path at their own speed. And just remember - as
long as you’re not doing nangs, you’re already one step ahead of the game.
- Loz
** This was written before COVID. Seriously, what are the odds?
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